What? Not even Spike? Stephanie? Mark? Jennifer? C’mon, whitey! A better whine would be: “Ugh, I’m sick of all the product placement on Top Chef. I didn’t tune in for the RAV4s, I tuned in for the ravioli!”
"For this Bravo TV Quick Fire Challenge you’ll use your Kenmore stoves in your Kenmore kitchens to turn this Kraft mayo into a tasty snack for Queer Eye’s Ted Allen whose new book, "The Food You Want To Eat," is available at Borders Book Store in the Time Warner Center in Mike Bloomberg’s New York City. The losers will take a RAV4 to Chucky Cheese’s where Chef Anthony Bourdain awaits with Oscar Meyer Bologna which you must transform, using Kitchenaid mixers, Calphalon knives and Victoria’s Secret lingerie, into NASA approved astronaut ice cream. Ben and Jerry of Ben and Jerry’s will judge on Alvar Aalto chairs available at the MOMA store, also in Bloomberg’s New York City, where the winner will be flown by Delta to enjoy an Olive Garden dinner beneath the Panasonic sign. Who will be this week’s TOP CHEF (TM)?"
You evil tramp, you foul-mouthed beast, you soulless whore with an ice cube tray for a heart. Winter, you bitch. Hail? You bring me hail? Ice should not be falling from the sky today. This is spring’s turn. You had your shot and you took it, over and over again. Well, no more. Enough is enough. Your days are numbered, you hear me? I will come up there and smack your shit around like a flippin kitty cat playing with a ball of yarn. Except the yarn will be your face, your stupid face!
“Hi, Here are the results of today’s lunch with the prospective groom: I think he is not for you: He is kind of short although he is really nice, but my gut feeling is you will not click with him. Also he is not bad looking at all. So don’t accuse me with all the accusation you dump on me all the time. In the mean time you can meet him if you want.”—Postcards From Yo Momma
So it doesn’t get more RAWK than livin’ in a place called ROCK ISLAND, right? Well, what if you could live in ANDALUSIA in Rock Island County? I mean, would it be a requirement to name your house DEBASER? What would you name your dog? Buñuel? This is no hypothetical. There is a lovely house for sale in Andalusia…
“HBO has officially picked up the pilot Bob and I pitched them and wrote. We should be shooting in LA in the beginning of MAY. We’ll keep you posted on exactly when and where (we’ll have room for 150 audiencers). We are both very, very excited about it and feel it’s really strong and important to the health of America.”—THE RETURN OF BOB AND DAVID! (via EW)
We were sitting around a table, Hillary and I, along with Barack Obama, and a bunch of folks from the campaigns. Why I was there? I don’t know. Perhaps I was David Plouffe. In any case, people were talking about Barack’s big speech and half the people were blown away, and the other half kept saying, “Yeah, but why didn’t he leave the church?” no matter how much people talked about the bigger issues.
Somehow Barack’s Jewish problem (I read this story yesterday) came up and I made a frustrated remark about how ridiculously zealous we force our politicians to be with regard to Israel. “They can’t even TALK about talking with them!,” I shouted, meaning Iran and Palestine.
This morphed into a rant about how low the Clinton campaign was willing to go to get the nomination. I was getting all worked up.
She said, “Hey, let’s keep it on the issues.”
I said, “The issues? The issue is that you are behind in the popular vote, behind in delegates, and the only superdelegate you’ve managed to get in the last month is that flag-waving crybaby John Murtha! (ed: Not true) You can’t possibly win this fairly and you’ll do anything to get the nomination! Why do you think you deserve it so much?”
She stormed out of the room. I followed and tried to catch up. I said, “Wait, I’m sorry, can I at least explain myself?” She was still a few feet ahead of me and I heard her sniffle and she raised her hand and presumably wiped tears off her face. She went into her office and slammed the door.
I walked back to the conference room. I looked in an old mirror. I had a preposterous moustache.
This is what happens when you watch speeches, read the news, and eat spicy Thai peanut tofu.
"Any torture of enemy captives by U.S. military personnel or contractors:
1. is a violation of the United States Constitution, federal criminal statutes, and international law, and subject to the severest criminal penalty, even if done under orders from a superior;
2. is contrary to the precepts of every major religion and moral code;
3. has been repudiated by all knowledgeable law enforcement agencies and experts as an investigative tool wholly unproductive and unreliable, inasmuch as torture victims will say anything, usually unverifiable, including spontaneous falsehoods, in order to stop the torture and preserve their lives;
4. is increasing the likelihood that any captured or kidnapped U.S. personnel, whether military or civilian, will be subjected to torture from their captors; and
5. is evidence of a sick mind and an uncivilized chain of command.”
"Those of us who witnessed the war at first hand have more personal reckonings. These pressed home, for me, on countless occasions during the years since the invasion, up to my departure from Baghdad late last summer, when I completed a five-year assignment in Iraq and moved to a new posting in London. Worst of all were the moments when war and its arguments were reduced from the remote, and political, to the intensely personal, and to that terrible sense, familiar to anybody who has experienced war, that nothing, or almost nothing, can justify its wounds."
This is a must-read article, a reflective view of our failed Iraqi escapade that renders quite real both the tragedy we walked into and the one of our own making. It offers little hope, but acknowledges the fundamental role ethnic and sectarian reconciliation will play in any ultimate success.
It is an aside, and beyond the point of the article, but it seems to me there is only one candidate for President of the United States - in either party, now or before now - who has made bridging divides, whether political, cultural, or racial, a central premise of his candidacy. If our answer in Iraq, and Iraq’s answer for itself, can be found in the word “reconciliation,” is there a better Commander in Chief for that job to be found?
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"This was a pretty amazing conversation, not only because of Obama’s mastery of the legal details, but also because many prominent Democratic leaders had already blasted the Bush initiative as blatantly illegal. He did not want to take a public position until he had listened to, and explored, what might be said on the other side.
This is the Barack Obama I have known for nearly 15 years — a careful and evenhanded analyst of law and policy, unusually attentive to multiple points of view.”